Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Monday, August 19, 2013
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: Well I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Viola! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
V: Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine- the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, thereby those important events of the past usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, a celebration of a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Much can be achieved with a smile. Admittedly, much more can be achieved with a smile and a gun.
Oh Lord give me patience... NOW!
Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in our living rooms.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
This email is never sent unsolicited. It is only sent to you because you are lucky enough to know the sender.
Those nicotine patches seem to work really well, but I heard it's kinda hard to keep em' lit.
Today's subliminal thought is:
Today, my marker board reads: 'This month is Farm Animal Awareness Week.' It is also National Singles week. Please do NOT get the two mixed up.
Ways to Relieve Stress #10. Make up a language and ask people for directions.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy - When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
Why be difficult? Put some effort in and be impossible.
Give a jackass an education and you get a smartass.
A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno
"I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!" - Homer Simpson
"If these pills don't stop the kleptomania," said the psychiatrist, "try and get me a nice video camera."
"The game of catch has never been so fun!" - inventor of the hand grenade.
Absence makes the heart grow fungus.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit
And God said, "Let there be light", and there was light. And everyone said, "Hey, cool! Do You do parties?".
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
By the time they had diminished from 50 to eight, the other dwarves began to suspect "Hungry".
Don't abuse marijuana... smoke it gently and carefully.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Einstein said that talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence. Answering yourself, however, is a sign of insanity.
Elephants wear tu-tus so they can hide in pine trees. Did you ever see an elephant in a pine tree? No? Well then, you know it works.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Get your mind out of the gutter! Grab mine while you're there, please.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up? Definitely optional.
Here at First National, you're not just a number - you're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash, and another number.
Here's a secret tip for X-files fans: Drink two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place with all recollections of the previous nights events mysteriously "erased".
I hate the country, all those animals walking around un-cooked.
I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted...
I like feminists - I think they're cute.
I'd give a thousand dollars to be one of them there millionaires!
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people
If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant.
It's so cold here, the lawyers have there hands in their own pockets!
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. - the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
Air force definition of explosives: A loud noise followed by the sudden going away of what was once there a second ago.
Always remember your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate -- the bombs always hit the ground.
Don't draw fire. It irritates the people around you.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
Don't run, you'll only die tired. - Army Snipers
Face this way towards enemy. (Printed on Claymore mines).
Five second fuses only last three seconds.
Friendly fire - isn't.
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
If you find yourself in a fair fight you didn't plan your mission properly!
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
Never trust a private with a loaded weapon, or an officer with a map.
No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
Retreating?! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!
Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. - Paul Rodriguez
Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
The easy way is always mined.
There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
When in doubt empty the magazine.
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
When you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.
Who *cares* if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Stick with me baby and I'll buy you rocks as big as diamonds.
Oh, my dear! Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
How bout you, me, and privacy?
Can I have a picture? ......So I can show Santa EXACTLY what I want for Christmas.
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?
Go up to the girl of your dreams, give her a single rose and say, "I just wanted to show this rose what true beauty is."
Hey, do you know what winks and makes love like a tiger? *WINK*
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock!
I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw.
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
If I were God, all of my angels would look like you!
If you held up 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
They say to never judge a book by its cover. So why don't we take off your coverings, and let me judge you.
Well? Have you saved up enough to take me out yet?
Whoops! Sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
American beer is like making love in a canoe. It's f*cking close to water. - Monty Python
As a rule, I don't drink -- as a habit, I do!
Beer contains Vitamin Pee.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Beer: Now THERE'S a temporary solution.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your beer.
Dough, the stuff, that buys my beer, Ray, the guy that tends the bar, Me, the guy, who drinks my beer, Far, the distance to the bar, So, I think I'll have a beer, La, Laa lAA lAh LaH LAA LAAAH! Tea, no thanks I want a beer, which brings us back to Dough Dough Dough!
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.
I don't drink anymore. Of course, I don't drink any less, either.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra
I have a drink to celebrate the little things. Like Tuesdays - we only have one of those a week!
I swear to drunk I'm not God!
I'd rather have a beer than win father of the year. - Homer Simpson
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. - Jack Handy
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'Shit!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling."
One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm. His boss replied - O K, , You are permitted to leave the office early today.
The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 p.m Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss,, He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.
He reached home. Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him.
His wife asked him - Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry. The man replied - If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about Children??? Wife replied- You don’t know - Your manager came at 5 15 p.m and has taken the children to the exhibition.
What had really happened was the boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 p.m. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition.
The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.
By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was????????
He was DR. A P J Abdul Kalam
Sand Storm, 26 April 2005. Al Asad, IRAQ
It's a wall of sand traveling at 60 mph.
This picture was taken 1 min later and its dark as night.
Reporting live from Al Asad, Air Base....
August 2006, the yacht 'Maiken' is traveling in the south Pacific when they came across a weird sight...
It was sand in the water, and floating ON TOP of the waves... But continue on......................
This is not a beach, it is volcanic stones floating on the water.
The trail left by the yacht...
And then this was spotted... ash and steam rising from the ocean...
And, while they were watching...
A brand new island formed...